(This may or may not be based on personal experience.)
Munich is a good place
to get drunk to think about two things: letting go and letting live.
After a heartbreak, you can find yourself at a loss to comprehend what just happened. One minute everything seems to be going perfectly; the next minute everything seems to be breaking down, just getting worse and worse no matter how much you try to make things right, and then suddenly…it’s over. And it’s hard to wrap your head around what happened and why it happened — the whole thing just seems so needlessly cruel and unfair and senseless.
A lot of cruel, unfair and senseless stuff have happened in Munich too. It actually feels a bit blasphemous to tie the two things up: heartbreak does pale in comparison to the Holocaust. The orders for the Kristallnacht were issued in Munich. The Dachau concentration camp is only 10 miles away. Imagine being imprisoned, tortured, and gassed just because you happened to have been born into a particular race — as if, before we’re born, we get assigned our race by merit! It just doesn’t make sense and is utterly, utterly heartless.
The fact is, sometimes there’s just no rational explanation for why awful things happen. You can dwell on it — you can keep on saying “I don’t understand,” “what did I do wrong?” — but those questions probably don’t have satisfactory answers anyway. At some point you have to realize that the past won’t change no matter how much you try to make sense of it; you won’t get justice; the world won’t suddenly become right again. If you’re going to make your horrible experience at least count for something, you have to try to disentangle yourself from it, dust yourself up, and move on. Try to let go — not to forget, and not necessarily to forgive either, at least not right away. But just realize there’s nothing you can do about the past; just decide, for your own sake, to get out from the quicksand of grief and anger.
Let go…and let live.
Let live because no one is beyond redemption. Germany, from the rubble of two world wars, has now become a force its erstwhile enemies rely on to do things like bailing out other countries’ economies and putting pressure on Putin. Such are the twists of life. Even the worst people, given a chance, could yet become decent human beings and do good things that perhaps only they can do.
So as nice as it might be to imagine certain people suffering twice (or ten thousand times, we’re not choosy) as much pain as they’ve caused you, the reality is: that still won’t change the past. That still won’t erase the hurt. Their suffering won’t benefit you. Truly. Okay, maybe just a little, but it’s a temporary high. What does last is the peace that you get from eventually saying: ah, forget it.
(Or in the esteemed Hagrid’s words: “Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh.” You’ll notice Hagrid didn’t actually boil Aunt Petunia’s and Uncle Vernon’s heads. They weren’t worth it.)
What lasts is the peace that comes from eventually — however grudgingly, as long as it’s sincerely — wishing them well. Acknowledging that while their part in your story has ended, however it ended, their own story goes on. Letting them live that story, however it turns out, while you pursue your own happy ending. Maybe even forgiving them if you feel able to. After all, forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re okay with what they did. Forgiveness just means letting go and not giving them the power to hurt you anymore.
And, yes, Munich is a good place to get drunk. (But please don’t do anything stupid.)
That’s really beautiful…I mean the post and picture. Heartbreak are most awful experience but it’s the one who really force you to grow up. I’ve learned so much from it and today I am even thankful that they happened. Now…I am curious to know what the next city will be…
Good points!! You do grow from the experience, and although I still wouldn’t wish for heartbreak, I’m thankful for how it has transformed me. 🙂
Beautiful pictures! Makes one forget about the aching heart. Well, there’s always beer…
Thanks! Not quite forget but it’s some consolation. 😀 And yes the beer 😀
Maybe take your mind off it – for the moment. Beer does help. But sooner or later, you just have to deal with it. Be strong!
Thank you. 🙂 And I’m not much of an alcohol drinker at any rate. Writing is more therapeutic!
Me neither! I’d rather write or read my time away!!! Or karaoke 😉
I was wondering when you will get back to my favourite series 😀
beer won’t drive me to Munich, cause I am a tea-totaller lol… but the town’s Baroque architecture might lure me in the future…
on a personal note, to forgive and forget is easier said than done…
Haha! I ran out of “wise” words for a while. 😀 I’m not really much of a drinker too. I loved Munich’s Christmas/winter atmosphere when I was there. And as for forgiving and forgetting, I don’t think I’ve totally done that yet either. The anger and pain still surfaces every now and then, even if you’ve technically forgiven someone. But it becomes easier over time to tell yourself to stop thinking about it.
This was a beautiful post to read.
Aww thanks! Have you ever had your heart broken? (I know that’s a personal question and feel free to ignore it! It’s just that I’ve “met” a lot of people here in WordPress who had their heart broken and kind of turned to traveling as therapy.)
Ugh–of course! I feel like everybody has but then that’s not true I guess because I’ve heard of some happily married couples that got together as teenagers, first loves and are still together decades later. Traveling is therapeutic I only wish I could spend more time doing it instead of a week at a time. My mind is exercised and invigorated when I’m traveling and yet it feels like I can finally clear it and see things as they are, it’s really helpful!